Votes

Well 2 people have voted in my poll, both saying yes, thank you for your confidence, watch this space to see if you were right!!

I have still got ends to fasten in on my knitting before tomorrow night and hand stitching on quilt block that should have been finished about 10 days ago!

This weekend I did prick the outline for a 1st birthday card whilst Emily was playing computer games, i have just over 4 weeks to stitch it.

Here is a picture of the card that I stitched for my friend to give to a couple celebrating their golden anniversary.  Thanks for the order Pat, hope the couple liked it and had a lovely anniversary.

Temptation got the better of me

When I saw this pattern I had to go and have a look at it, when I worked out the cost I thought it was worth buying!  Just got to find chance to make it.  I have a Video instruction for a similar one and have wanted to make it for about 18 months!!  I really need to make it as Emily is planning a rainbow theme for her birthday so it would be perfect, so that gives me 4 months to make it.

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We have Emily's party venue booked as in previous years we have waited until nearer end of the year to find we cannot get what we want for February.

It's Emily

When I was looking at my facebook earlier I found Emily looking back at me!  A picture of her had been used by Our Handmade Collective to promote one of their posts about Children's crafts.  We went to a few of their children's craft events during the holidays. They were all very good and apparently more are planned for Halloween.

I am feeling pretty rubbish today, so no crafting achieved, was hoping to start a stitched card and tie in some more ends on my knitting, but alas I did not manage.

I am going to stop now as making lots of mistakes, thank goodness they get highlighted!

Thoughts about website and other ramblings!

I think that trying to get website up and running again is too much.  When I used to make things I was not doing anything else, now I feel like life never stops.  Rather than scrap it altogether maybe it is worth starting from scratch and making it mainly my blog and gallery of things I have made and if a few people like things I they could contact me and I could make a few things like jewellery and cards.  Probably first step is to start making things for my own use (cards and presents) and for family and friends who want things.  If they pay I cover some costs, if not does not really matter, they only need to pay if I have to buy new stuff especially.  I have to realise that I am never (?) going to be able to make enough to have a viable business even a very small one as my ME is too limiting and I still have everyday events to deal with. My energy and focus has to be on Emily, even though she is very independent now caring for her is never easy and keeps throwing up new and exhausting challenges, it makes caring for a baby look easy, at l;east they don't argue, throw tantrums and have high expectations of your parenting abilities!  And at the moment Emily is sleeping worse than she did as a baby, I was blessed with a very easy baby and also forget how much help I had and expect to be able to do everything now.

Today I feel terrible, I have had no sleep and was up in the night very upset.  I am sure my husband was really impressed at me waking him up too!!  Consequently today I am in a lot of pain and feel so sick and dizzy.  Thankfully I have finally arranged to be able to take and collect Emily by going through school building instead of trailing all the way round, it was having an impact on my pain.

Many of my symptoms are worse at the moment and I am quite worried about the numbness and tingling which I get in my hands, face, legs and feet.  I discussed it with my GP a while ago and she check my Vit B levels which were ok, but I never went back, mainly because there is not much she can do about it.  It does seem to be a recognised ME symptom, but I am finding it more of a worry now so have an appt, but its not for another 2 weeks.  There is only one Dr who will see me, so I have to wait a long time to get an appt with her.  My pain, dizziness and tinnitus are very bad too, probably due to extra fatigue.  The other scary symptom is my heart pounding, especially when I try to rest, its awful and makes me very anxious and short of breath, and makes rest impossible.  I need to get that checked out too.

Well its now time for the dreaded school run.

Lovely

Just been looking at my feed on facebook and there are some lovely craft items.

Firstly a bracelet that can be made at a class in Leeds this week.

Then a cat quilt, how cute is that?

Another quilt

A Christmas T shirt 

An amazing quilt to finish off 

Update for Santa

It appears that to use the die for the Sizzix cottage that I also need extended pad and crease rule.  I think that is too much of an ask, I will stick with what I have and forgo the chance to make little 3d cottages :-(  I mean to be honest how many would really get made. Cute is one thing, but nearly £60 does not sound cute to me!

Little Tinker

I have been a little tinker this morning!  Whilst it is peaceful in my house I have been playing about with my blog layout.  I hope that it is now a bit more user friendly :)

Foiled again

Well the ME got the better of me again and despite having scaled down plans I cannot get to quilting class, very sad :-(

Had to get D to take Emily to school again, luckily Emily thinks it is fun.

I have been thinking about Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes.  I have ordered a few items as we donate some things to the local church for them to but in collective boxes and also make a box of our own to send through Emily's school.  I have just printed off an all about me page for Emily to include in her box.

I need to go and rest now.  As my favourite bear Pooh would say "Oh Bother" But he also says " Don't underestimate the value of doing nothing" so perhaps I should accept that today.

Dear Santa

Dearest Santa

I have been a really good girl this year and have seen lots of things I like the latest being this sizzix cottage.  I know I have lots already, but I am sure you understand you can never have too many.

On my best behaviour until Christmas.

Jane
xxx

Temptation

Got a leaflet about knitting and stitching show in Harrogate.  I went a few years ago, its great, but very busy and so much temptation, also not easy to get around with wheelchair.  But it is good and well worth a visit.

Another temptation arrived in my email in the shape of Felt fantastic a book from Blooming felt.

I started a Golden wedding card like the one in my post normal service except this one is in gold, as request from a friend.

Its quilting tomorrow, determined to go, but will travel light leaving my machine and heavy stuff at home and just taking the bits I am working on that need hand stitching so should be a bit less effort.

Got to go now Emily is fussing about a dead bee, I have told her that if it is dead it will do her no harm, but it is apparently an emergency, I hope she does not expect me to resuscitate it.

Bead fair

The Autumn beads, bead fair is coming to Leeds again.  Unfortunately I won't be able to go, I missed last year too :-( Not going will save me a lot of money though and stop me getting overwhelmed with more ideas, but would be nice to look round.

Well the day has not improved much, my pain is crazy and I am so dizzy.  Not able to collect Emily, makes me very sad, but a relief not to have to try and drive. The exercise will do Emily good, but I am sure she will have plenty of energy left when she gets home.

Spent much of the day laid down and trying to rest, dosed with painkillers and heat pad for the pain.  Its not very restful though as my mind never rests, I wish it had an off switch.  I have been reading.  The book I am reading I have read before, but could not remember what happened so have kept reading it.  Its one of 2 books I bought on holiday, the first one I gave up on it was total rubbish and then this one which I then found I have read before, I will have to resist temptation in future, but the charity shops do well out of me!!

Big mistake

I went to knitting class last night at Rivers meet.  Got some great tips and help from Barbara, but I feel so ill today.  It has taken me ages to get around to going as I knew it would be hard.  All I had to do was watch and listen and there was only me.  Seems my instincts were right, but has not stopped me saying I will go again in 2 weeks.

I am very run down as it is and really should not be doing more than basic every day things, but I feel so useless and fed up if I do that.  I am really exhausted and not coping well and I think I try to do more to try and ignore how bad I feel and to stop my mind wandering!  I would love to be able to go to the respite place in Scarborough, I have not been for over a year, but there is not the time and it is not fair to Rob and Emily. 

Had to get D to take Emily to school as I feel too dizzy and ill to drive.  Feel bad for not being able to take Emily to school.  I am struggling at the moment anyway and I suppose it was silly to go out, I am always saying no to Emily but did something for myself that can't be right.  Not sure what to do or how to cope, can't stay in bed all the time :-(  Emily was quite happy and she got to walk to school, she wants D to pick her up too!

Cannot write any more at the moment have to go and rest whether I like it or not.

Smile for the day

Just been sent this by email, I have seen most of them before, but it is still funny and scarily I could imagine my daughter saying most of them;

7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children 

 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
 The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. 
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. 
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. 
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'. 
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?' 
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
  
 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.' 
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.' 
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
 
 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. 
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.' 
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
  
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.''Yes,' the class said.
 'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?' A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.' 

 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:'Take only ONE. God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples..'


 These little felt things made me smile too, so cute. Laura's blog is well worth a read.

Losing Confidence, De cluttering etc

My head is not in a good place at the moment and it is not helping with my craft projects.  I am very restless and finding it difficult to concentrate or physically do the tasks I want to do.  I have lots of ideas and projects I want to do; start and finish.  Due to difficulties and recent experiences my confidence is lacking and making doing anything much harder.  My quilting is not going well and I do not have the finesse needed to make my projects go well and it puts me off.  Emily is wearing a cardigan I knitted today, but all I can see is the faults with it, the picking up is poor and there are several holes and the border does not lie flat (picture of pattern) and I am very disappointed with it.  I am still knitting the waistcoat for myself, but the edges aren't neat and I know it will not sew up well, but I can't afford to abandon it :(  I always seem to lack finesse with anything and things end up looking like they were made by a school child rather than the beautiful item it should be.  I keep telling Emily that to do things you have to work hard and practice, but I am getting fed up of trying.

All I seem to do is sit at the computer or browse shops looking at ideas and components, but that's as far as many of them go, or I try something and it does not work out as I envisaged.  I always feel that I can do exactly the same project as someone else and their end product is much better and more professional.

Another reason for my difficulty is that it is so hard to find things, due to lack of storage space and organisation and far too much junk.  I want to have a good clear out, not just of craft things, but books clothes etc so we can begin to see the wood for the trees.  Problem is there is so little time and energy for things like that and what do I do with the stuff sorted out before I can get rid of it.  We send a lot of stuff to charity shops, but I really want to see something for my effort so would like to do a table top sale and then be able to put the money towards something nice for us all.  To clear out I need help and time and Rob works full time and uses much of his leave helping with other things.  We are usually busy with something at weekends and there is about half an hour from Emily going to bed until I need to go to bed.

Its been a difficult week this week with many things that are adding to my feeling unsettle and focus and motivation.  Emily had 2 days off sick, she is also being bullied, it was the 2nd anniversary of my cousins tragic death, my Dad was discharged home, Rob had a wisdom tooth removed and today would have been my Grandad's 94th birthday. There always seems so many things to deal with and I don't think I resolve things very well.  I had a chat with a friend the other day about the bullying which was helpful, but things are still not resolved and I worry about it a lot and have been getting very panicky.

Well the distraction continues I was supposed to cover the meat that is cooking and put the oven on to a lower temperature.  Covered the meat and turned the oven off!!!  Thankfully realised after not too long and tea should still be on time.  Wonder if I am safe to be left in charge?!

I realised last night, when I could not sleep, that it is quilting on Friday and as ever I have not done anything since last time, oh dear, will be busy this week.

Had a trip to Kreative Krafts yesterday, a great little shop and picked up some early Christmas presents and a few supplies!!!

Finally just a few things I have seen on the internet this week that I would love to be able to do;

 http://makebakecelebrate.com/swirly-halloween-cookies/

http://www.anniescatalog.com/detail.html?prod_id=101640&source=fcebkqw

http://www.favecrafts.com/Halloween-Crafts/Eeks-Spider-Pillow/ml/1/&utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=101daysofholidayrecipesandcrafts20130912#YMmJhkTmFgOqLxc5.32

And I have bought the ingredients to make the gluten free Bramble cake that I had on holiday at Edinburgh Larder and who kindly posted the recipe for me on their facebook page:

It's the time of beautiful Autumn berries and Jane asked if we could post our recipe for bramble cake so here it is - get picking - there's loads of wild ones growing everywhere right now!

Bramble flan cake
Ingredients
You'll need 250g of brambles tossed in just enough caster sugar to coat them and:
• 200g butter, plus a little more for the flan tin
• 200g caster sugar
• 3 eggs
• 200g ground almonds
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1.Preheat the oven to 180 degrees/gas mark 4.

2. Butter a 25cm loose-bottomed round flan or cake tin and line the base with a circle of baking parchment.

3. Cream the butter and sugar in a food processor or with a hand beater until the mixture is pale.

4. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well and, after each addition, fold in some of the ground almonds and a few drops of vanilla extract.

5. Put the mixture into the flan tin and scatter over the brambles. Their flavour is intense, so you don't need to use more fruit than this.

6. Cook for 30 minutes until golden and just firm.

Other berries can be used for topping eg blackcurrants

All I need now is some help and for the oven to be free, so will be after tea now.

Well as Emily is at a party, just had her face painted (picture sent by Rob who is with her) I had better go and get some rest or they will be back before I am ready.

Watched the end of the Great North Run mens race just before they went out, how close was that?! Well done Mo Farah.

What should a Blog be?

When I started out I wanted this Blog to be a record of what I was making so I could see progress and display things I have made. But it seems more like a place where I moan and feel sorry for myself which is not what I want to do and its not nice for people to read.

There is a lot going on and I am not able to focus on my craft as much as I want to as every day life is taking all my time and energy.  There are issues that I cannot write about on a public site that are having an impact of the way I feel and I just end up looking as if I am feeling sorry for myself, which I guess I am.

Should I try to refocus, should I give up Blogging? What is the best used of my little time and energy?

I can hardly type at the moment, spending more time deleting than typing so I guess I should not be doing this right now, I am so tired and in a lot of pain, not a good place to be, but plenty of others manage.  I will finish now before this becomes another moan.

Not sew happy!

I am trying to do a bit of my quilting, possibly not the best thing for me to be doing as my head is all over the place, but needed to distraction and to do something pleasant, but I am not happy with the result.

I am not great at sewing and the appliqué block is not working out how I want and my sewing machine keeps jamming up too, not helpful, but probably because I don't have a clue what I am doing!  I am thinking i should start the block again and use a different technique on the appliqué outline.

I have another block to finish so think I will focus on that one and leave this one till I have a better idea of what to do.  I hate it when I can't do things, but nothing seems to come easy, wish I had a flair for something.  Maybe I do and have not found it yet 8-|  Well will go and tidy stuff away now and try again another day.

School days are here again

Emily enjoyed her first day back at school, says it is fun, but they have to work hard, sounds good to me!

I took some pictures and a video of her this morning, she told me I had to put them on facebook!!  I have but they are here too

She is such a poser!

I was in a lot of pain yesterday and felt rubbish all day.  Today is not much better, so hoping to get some rest.  I have lots of things I want to do, but really need to recharge a bit first and get on top of the pain to be able to achieve anything.

Normal service has resumed!

Whoa, school is back.  Amazingly had a very calm getting ready and off to school, long may it last!  Emily really good, ate  breakfast, had shower and got dressed still with time to spare!!

Parking was daft as ever!  Gate open so went in car park, got too close to bushes turning round and a bit got caught in trim and pulled it off, just needs pushing back on properly! 8-|

Its a long walk to year 2, it was a struggle to get back to car, but I'll get used to it I guess, year 3 is even further!!

I am exhausted and can feel it all creeping up on me now, need to rest for a bit before normal service for me resumes, probably about the time half term starts 8-|

I have lots of craft ideas in my head and want to get started on something, but finding it difficult to settle and focus, hopefully as we settle into a routine again I might find it a bit easier.  Right now I feel like I want to sleep for a week.

Here is picture of the anniversary card I made

Will update when I have something else to show, watch this space, might be a long wait though :-<

Vikings, Owls and tattoos!

We have been away.  Went to Berwick Holiday park.

It was good to get away from all the hassles and to see the sea.  Was exhausting though and some of the time I felt really ill and I am still really dizzy from the travelling, usually takes a couple of weeks to settle down :(

Emily and Rob enjoyed the activities on the park. We did some pot painting and went to Lindisfarne and Edinburgh. In Edinburgh we visited the museum of childhood and found a great place for lunch, not cheap, but gluten free and very friendly and helpful :)

The evening entertainment was very noisy, but Emily enjoyed it.  For a laugh we all had an air brush tattoo!

 Rob's

 Mine

Emily's

They are wearing off now, its ok for a bit of fun, but could not have a real tattoo.

Emily on turbo paddler

Emily weaving a bracelet with a Viking

lady on Lindisfarne at the Viking Raiders event in the Priory 

Emily and Rob in playground

Owl rescue on Lindisfarne

Will have to finish now feeling very ill again, the price I pay for doing too much :(