There is also a course I would love to do on Play Therapy as a qualified Playworker with some knowledge of play therapy it really appeals and is on an offer, but it is up 150 hours of work. At best I would manage an hour a day when Emily is at school and some days even that wouldn't be possible and would mean I wouldn't be able to manage any craft and would take me the best part of a year. Again I got really upset and felt so useless, other people study on top of full time work and family commitments. Gaining a qualification wouldn't be of any use anyway if I can't work and would just add to my other unused qualifications, that is assuming that I would be able to do it which I might not with finding reading and understanding very difficult. I am still tempted just for the material without getting the qualification.
Yesterday Emily was upset with me as she wanted me to go and play a game outside with her, but I can't play physical games and it is too cold for me to be outside and just sitting. I did manage to rescue the situation by letting her throw a ball inside and we had a game of catch with me sat down which seems to have pacified her for now, but doesn't always work. My husband quite often refuses to play physical games with her too, he has the ability, but may not feel like it or want to when she asks, he doesn't feel guilty, but then I feel guilty because I can't do it and because he doesn't want to and because she doesn't have siblings or friends to play with and so on!
It feels like everything I can do or can't makes me feel useless or guilty in one way or another. I am definitely guilty until proven innocent!
So true Charlie Brown